CoVid Booster Meets Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You: The Mash Up


So, I finally bit the bullet and went for my latest Covid booster yesterday, and the damn thing bit me right back.
My head pounding, sinuses flaring, body aching and feverish; I was too sick to do anything beyond channel surf last night.
And there she was in all her magnificence, Mariah Carey, singing All I Want For Christmas Is You at Madison Square Garden. Now, this went beyond mere singing. The Diva in her glittery Christmas get-up that would have made Classy Freddy Blassie proud was showing off miles and miles of legs, cleavage, and smiles. She was hitting notes that only dogs could hear. Whether it was live or Memorex didn’t really matter because a sea of rich folk singing along in their zillion-dollar orchestra seats like their lives depended on it. There were at least 3,037 people right there on stage with her, including, I believe, rapper Slick Rick the Ruler, who lost all street cred in his Christmas outfit, what looked like The Rockettes repeatedly kicking like they were in a Jean-Claude Van Damme flick, color coordinated backup singers, Judy Garland and Edmund Gwenn back for solos and Billy Porter was dancing like he had seven legs. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree joined the sing-a-long. Or maybe I just imagined that.
You see, the fever was overtaking me as I watched this surreal spectacle unfurl. Amidst this glorious chaos, Mariah was barely moving, and I didn’t detect one bead of sweat, but she was hitting those notes! She may have witch-like powers- I’m not certain.
And then, as the gang repeated the chorus, “All I want for Christmas is you,” a good thousand or so times, they cut to the fans outside MSG reviewing the show AS IT WAS STILL GOING ON. This must have been some kind of witchcraft. For how could they be at two places at the same time, both inside and outside the historic venue? This was some Everything, Everywhere, All at Once like mysticism before my eyes. And the clearly bewitched fans were saying things like, “This was the greatest night of my life.”
Really.
I woke up this morning still sick from the booster but now, on top of it, “All I Want For Christmas” is playing through my still pounding head in a perpetual loop.
And somehow, I know- I just know- that Billy Porter is STILL on that stage dancing like there’s no tomorrow, and Mariah woke up somewhere looking perfect and not sweating like us mere mortals.


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